True North: A Fixed Point In A Spinning World

Polaris, also known as the North Star, is one of our planet's more prominent stars. Positioned almost directly above Earth's northern axis, Polaris's somewhat fixed position has historically been used as a navigational aid, allowing travellers to find true north - an orienting point. Also culturally significant, the North Star symbolises an unwavering guide representing purpose, direction and stability. Thanks to this week's book, this symbolism has taken on new meaning for me.

"As constant as the Northern Star" (Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare)

"Show Me Your Role Models and I'll Show You Your Future." (Shane Parrish)

Most of the time, I know (more or less) what I'm getting into when I decide on a book. As we prepared for the holidays, my sister, Shereen, asked me to send her a list of books on my Christmas wish list, and she did not need to ask twice. Despite having unread books on my shelf, there is an unending list of titles I want to work my way through, and Shane Parrish's Clear Thinking was one of them. On my periphery for a while, I knew (more or less) what the book was about, but I didn't know what I was getting into (in a good way). Unlike any of the other books I've written about since I launched this blog, Clear Thinking is a guide to increasing sound judgment and honing one's ability to make better decisions. Shane Parrish offers practicable insight into navigating complex life and work situations using techniques based on mental models, the awareness of cognitive bias and critical thinking.

I'm awful at taking photos of the books. They almost always come out warped. Also, I had to trim the munted edges made by my wet bathing costume.

Let me begin by saying that Clear Thinking is not a beach read. Trust me, I tried. The book requires concentration, and in addition to the many underlines and highlights, I also used a notepad to track my thought process and log ideas about how best to approach this week's post. Doing that on a beach chair in a wet swimming costume and your mind elsewhere is not easy. Besides, the beach is a wonderful place to practice present-moment awareness and the beauty of nature, so I didn't mind having to relegate the book indoors.

I've been pretty vocal about my appreciation for both Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and James Clear's Atomic Habits, and I love that both authors endorsed Clear Thinking. Ryan Holiday is someone I've come across on social media. He draws much inspiration from the Stoics and has written several books, including The Daily Stoic, which he co-wrote with Stephen Hanselman. The book comprises three hundred and sixty-six Stoic meditations, which are difficult to cover in a blog post. However, I'd like to find ways to weave the meditations into my self-help journey and share them with you.

Clear Thinking is a book that can be applied to life's personal and professional spheres, and I was gung ho about writing about the aspect I loved the most.

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"Mastering the best of what other people have already figured out."

Shane Parrish refers to the above quote as "a tagline to my life", writing that Clear Thinking is a testament to that outlook because, coupled with his own experience, the book relies on the wisdom of others. The quote appears in the book's preface, so I was hooked early on because that is essentially what I have been doing every time I pick up a self-help or motivational book (or any book, for that matter). Of all the practicable thoughts, ideas and practices included in Clear Thinking, this is what jumped out at me the most, and it immediately became the element of the book I wanted to focus on in this week's blog.

"A model or pattern to be copied or imitated" (Dictionary.com)

We all have role models - people in our lives who inspire us. If we're lucky, it's someone we're close to or have worked with. I'm fortunate to have had role models in my personal life, and I have worked with and reported to some truly exceptional people. Regarding the latter, I am particularly grateful to have worked with women who have raised the bar and made me want to match that standard - not by an iron fist but through inspiring behaviour. I have also had the misfortune of reporting to a woman who could break spirits. It's an awful experience both in terms of being on the receiving end and watching it happen to someone else. Whatever the opposite of exemplar is, that's what she was. However, even the most challenging experiences offer life lessons, and this one taught me about who I didn't want to be.

Chapter 2.7 of Clear Thinking is dedicated to 'Exemplars + Practice'. Like most of Parrish's chapters, it is short but packs a massive punch. In the preceding chapter, the author discusses the importance of curating who we invite into our lives, which reminded me of the quote: "If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room." From Confucius to Saturday Night Live's Lorne Michaels, this quote has been credited to so many people that it's hard to keep track, but I love it. I also think "smartest" is interchangeable with other words (inspiring, well-travelled, resilient or empathetic, for example). It's not only knowledge and insight we gain from others; we can be inspired by someone's capacity for empathy or resilience. We learn in so many different ways.

"The people we choose as our examplars exhibit the principles, the resolve, and the overall patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting that we want to make our own. Their example helps us navigate the world. It becomes our North Star."

Gather away...

Shane Parrish maintains that our exemplars do not need to be people we know, nor do they even have to be alive. The key is to find people you admire and want to be like - people who inspire you to (want to) become the person you dream of. When I resigned from my job, where I reported to the 'spirit breaker,' I was essentially curating my professional life. By extension, we can also be selective about the company we keep in our personal lives. This self-help journey is a monumental curation exercise in which I surround myself with the works of authors who have either lived my experience and/or are experts in mental health, self-help, and mindfulness. Parrish quotes the French philosopher Michel de Montaigne, who said, "I have gathered a garland of other men's flowers, and nothing is mine but the cord that binds them". Parrish is not the first author to borrow from others, and he won't be the last. It is a practice that has existed since day dot (or at least since the French Rennaissance if Montaigne is anything to go by). I'm borrowing from these authors, too, and all that is mine are the personal experiences I have been able to thread through these books that are fast becoming my North Star.

I wanted to end with something I found funny (if not a little disappointing). In How To Fail (covered in my post 'Only Ever Look Forward'), Elizabeth Day wrote, "I once interviewed Paulo Coelho and found him to be a monstrous egomaniac and about as spiritual as a broken kettle." 😂 (I've only just discovered that you can use emojis on WIX 🤯). I read and loved The Alchemist. The quote, "And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it", is one of my absolute favourites, so, as funny as the quote is, I was disappointed when I read the reference to Coelho in Elizabeth Day's book. Is her opinion an indictment of his work and his character? Should it be? Shane Parrish encourages his readers to be open to learning from people whose character or worldview does not necessarily align with their own. He quotes Seneca, who said in On the Tranquility of the Mind: "I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good."  I suppose this is the debate around being able to separate the art from the artist. Perhaps it's an individual choice.

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Coming Up Next Week

I'll write about Mel Robbins's The Let Them Theory. I can't wait. That is all. See you next week.

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