The Profound Effects of a Quiet Mind
- devabritow
- Nov 2
- 7 min read
"The most powerful mind is the quiet mind. It is the mind that is present, reflective, mindful of its thoughts and its state." (Maria Konnikova)
Whether in books, film, or even music, I love stories about the triumph of the human spirit - ones that focus on resilience, perseverance, and hope in the face of adversity. These stories, whether told on paper, celluloid or in song, highlight how individuals can overcome suffering and oppression through inner strength, love, and connections with others. Characters often find meaning in their suffering, displaying love, selflessness, and resilience as they face seemingly insurmountable obstacles. My favourite triumph of the human spirit stories are always those rooted in truth and lived experiences. Think Viktor Frankl, Nelson Mandela and Malala Yousafzai (to name just a few). All three are victims of oppressive political and religious regimes who emerged as beacons of light for so many people across the world.
During this self-help journey, I have encountered numerous authors, motivational speakers, and mindfulness gurus who have navigated their own struggles and, in the words of Oprah Winfrey, "turned their wounds into wisdom" (and then some). Despite hardship—physical, emotional, financial, and legal—their spirits triumphed, and they have come to be similar beacons of light to their readers, listeners and social media followers. One such person is Dr James Doty, and he wrote the book I'll be writing about in this week's post.
I came across Dr James Doty on one of Mel Robbins' social media posts several months ago. The Instagram clip alone was incredibly moving, but it paled in comparison to the full podcast episode (Ep# 312). It's not often that one is witness to a depth of pain and vulnerability such as that which Dr Doty displayed on the podcast. It took me a while to listen to the full podcast episode, and when I eventually did, it was because Mel Robbins had reposted it after Dr Doty's passing. I remembered the gentle, soft-spoken and sometimes emotional man in the clip and was sorry that I hadn't listened sooner. Thankfully, his legacy lives on in the work he did, the books he wrote, and the lives he touched through his remarkable approach to life and the lessons he imparted.
Into the Magic Shop is both a memoir and a guide on mindfulness, compassion, and brain science. In the book, Dr James Doty shares his story of overcoming a challenging childhood to achieve personal and professional success, primarily due to the lessons he learned as a young boy in a magic shop. When Doty was 12, he stumbled upon a magic shop in Lancaster, California, where he met Ruth, the shop owner's mother. Rather than showing him card tricks, Ruth introduced him to what she called “real magic”—the art of calming his mind, visualising his goals, opening his heart, and nurturing compassion. Over the course of the summer, she guided him through four practices: relaxation techniques to calm the mind, subduing negative thought patterns with focused attention, visualisation as a means to manifest, and opening one's heart to love and compassion.
Dr Doty credits these lessons for altering the course of his life. From incredibly humble beginnings that included poverty, an alcoholic father and a mother who battled mental health issues, Doty overcame his personal circumstances to become one of the world's most renowned neurosurgeons and medical innovators. In his adult years, however, he became fixated on wealth and status, distancing himself from the compassion Ruth had taught him. When he lost his wealth during the dot-com crash, he was compelled to revisit her teachings and realign with what truly matters: kindness, presence, and purpose. The book integrates personal storytelling, neuroscience, and practical mindfulness, demonstrating how the mind and heart collaborate to influence our lives.
Ultimately, Dr Doty's message drives home the point that true success and fulfilment come not from external accomplishments or riches, but from aligning the mind and heart by nurturing attention, intention, and compassion.
Isn't that lovely? I thought so, and the five pages of notes I wrote are a testament to the book's profound effect on me. Whittling down five pages isn't easy, but I'll write about a couple of the key points that resonated with me.
"I often felt like I was being chased, but I did not know who was chasing me."
On page eighty-five of Into The Magic Shop, Dr Doty relays an experience he had with bullies. While en route to the magic shop, he witnessed two older, bigger boys beating on a younger, considerably smaller boy, and he felt compelled to step in. Being only a child himself, it must have been a daunting prospect to stand up to, not one, but two boys intent on hurting someone simply because they could. At one point, the author writes that, "I wasn't going to give him the power to make me afraid", and it made me want to consider more deeply what it was that frightened me. In last week's blog post, I mentioned being scared of almost everything as a child. I also wrote that while most of those fears were baseless (and faceless), they led to long-term struggles with anxiety that I am now working toward managing. These fears have been chasing me since childhood, and I'm tired of running.
While faceless, it's best to tackle fear head-on in much the same way that James Doty did, not only when he stood up to those two bullies but when he started to deal with the pain of his upbringing, too. I don't have the same pain, but I face the same challenge - the challenge to overcome fears even if they're faceless and indecipherable.
"It's a Good Lesson To Learn That Not Everything is About Us"
I've written about this before, most notably in The Spotlight Effect, which I based on the similarly titled chapter from Dr Julie Smith's book Open When.... The quote below stood out to me, and I thought it was well-suited to this post:
"Something we all do is overestimate how much others are noticing us and scrutinizing or judging us negatively. Because we are the centre of our own world, we wrongly assume we are close to the centre of everyone else's. But the reality is that most people are cross-examining their own social performance, rather than ours."
The spotlight effect is a form of cognitive bias linked to social anxiety in which an individual overestimates the extent to which others notice, observe, or judge them. Essentially, those affected by the spotlight effect feel as though they're being scrutinised, convinced that their errors, appearance, or actions are significantly more noticeable to others than they truly are. From a psychological standpoint, the spotlight effect stems from the natural human tendency to view the world from one’s own perspective. In cases of social anxiety, this bias is heightened, leading to intense self-awareness and a strong fear of embarrassment or negative judgment.
It's safe to say that I have suffered from this cognitive bias. It's why I didn't attend that first ballet class (or the ones that followed). It's why I cowered behind my classmates at cultural day in primary school, or stayed close to my parents. And, it's why I generally avoid social situations as an adult. Perhaps it comes with age (or maturity), but I don't have that feeling as much as I used to. Yes, I still experience an increased heart rate when speaking in front of people, and I'd still rather avoid large social gatherings. However, I'm a little more relaxed around others - or rather, less self-conscious. So, if anything is about me, it's to the extent that I overestimate anyone's interest in who or what I am. In the bigger scheme of things, people are off doing their own thing, tending to their own problems with very little interest in the flaws of others, whether those flaws are real or perceived. The spotlight effect, however, makes you think otherwise and worse, your mind makes you believe that you're being judged. It is the mind that needs to be under the spotlight—scrutinised carefully for all the havoc it wreaks.
"Ruth taught me how to control my mind, and in doing so she helped me stop reliving the guilt and shame of past events and the anxiety and fear imagining possible future events playing on the radio station of my mind."
Separating and observing thoughts is a concept rooted in mindfulness, frequently employed in cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). It involves recognising your thoughts as mental events instead of as facts or truths.
With separation (or Cognitive Defusion), you establish distance from your thoughts. Instead of saying “I’m a failure,” you could reframe it as “I’m having the thought that I’m a failure.” This subtle change serves as a reminder that a thought is merely an idea — not reality.
With observation (Mindful Awareness), you take on the role of an observer, observing your thoughts as they drift through your mind like clouds in the sky or cars passing by. You acknowledge them without judgment, without attempting to suppress or interact with them.
Overall, the purpose of this mindfulness-based concept is to help decrease rumination and the tendency to overly identify with negative thoughts. It also aids in managing anxiety, depression, and excessive thinking, while also enhancing emotional regulation and clarity.
Dr Doty writes that Ruth enhanced his capacity to manage his emotions, boost his empathy and social connections, and helped him to feel more optimistic. He maintains that the lovely, generous lady in the magic shop transformed his perception of himself and the world, which, in turn, altered everything completely. The author's book, Into the Magic Shop, is filled with as much magic as Dr Doty will have seen in that store so many years ago, and it makes you want to believe. It was hard to choose what to focus on from the five pages of notes that I'd written, and while I would have loved to cover so much more, I can't. There is one last thing I'd like to quote from the book, though:
"I had been given the magic, yes, but it was up to me to practice it."
I've been consistently exposed to magic via the books, authors, podcast hosts, self-help gurus and mindfulness coaches I have read or listened to over the last fourteen months. The literature I have covered is imbued with the power to transform lives, but there's no magic wand, magical word, or phrase that will change things for me or anyone else.
In essence, magic involves perceiving or initiating transformation, whether through mystical methods, mental concentration, or human creativity. I like the combination of all three, but it is up to me to practice it.
Random Quote
"Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe).
#anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #thereisnostigma #youarenotalone #selfhelp #selfcare #wellness #mindfulness
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