
Anxiety
This single word is my shortest heading to date, but it's enough because when amid an anxiety attack, it's like nothing else exists but that anguish. All you can focus on is the visceral feeling of fear, and it takes a massive effort to work your way to the other side. It is at once overwhelming and debilitating and starts up that vicious cycle I mentioned in my previous post. Anxiety can appear as a symptom of depression, but similarly, depression can be triggered by anxiety. Of the two evils, depression is the lesser for me, and let's be clear: depression is no walk in the metaphorical park. On this self-help journey of mine, anxiety is definitely what I'd like to get a handle on first, but given that the two conditions feed off each other, I imagine that any work I do will help in both areas.
This week's text, The Book of Overthinking by Gwendoline Smith, has taken me a step closer to doing that.
“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” (Arthur Somers Roche)
Anxiety can strike at any time, but the toughest for me is when I wake in the middle of the night, and my very first thought is that something is wrong or is going to go wrong. I'm immediately consumed by absolute dread, and my body reacts accordingly. Shallow breathing, lightheadedness, nausea, jaw clenching, increased heart rate, headaches, restlessness, jelly-like limbs and more.
Let's go back to the word 'visceral' for a moment. Dictionary.com defines it (verbatim) as an:
adjective
of or relating to the viscera.
affecting the viscera.
of the nature of or resembling viscera.
characterized by or proceeding from instinct rather than intellect:
a visceral reaction.
characterized by or dealing with coarse or base emotions; earthy; crude:
a visceral literary style.
The viscera is a collective term for the internal organs in the upper abdomen, including the adrenals (or adrenal glands). The adrenal glands regulate the body's response to stress, which brings me to the word adrenaline. Also known as the 'fight-or-flight' hormone, adrenaline helps you face potentially dangerous situations and is an essential survival mechanism.
So, what am I trying to survive at 2 am, cosy in my bed, in one of the safest cities in the world? In the absence of any real threat, I am trying to survive my thoughts.

If Matthew Johnstone's I Had A Black Dog: His Name Was Depression perfectly outlines my experience with depression, Gwendoline Smith's The Book of Overthinking nails anxiety. As an aside, I am pleased to include a Kiwi author in the books I'm working through (born in England and raised in New Zealand). I hope there'll be a couple more along the way. The Book of Overthinking is relatively short, but it packs a thought-provoking punch.
Gwendoline Smith sets the tone of her book by first defining overthinking and this is where I connected with the work because it so accurately describes my own experience. The author rightly points out that everyone overthinks from time to time, but:
"... there are those individuals... who find it quite impossible to shut down the constant onslaught of unwanted thoughts."
I am one of those individuals, and those thoughts are decidedly unwanted. The invasion of thoughts seems to happen in spite of me somehow - the endless barrage appears to laugh in the face of my valiant efforts to stop it. And, the more those unwanted thoughts come, the deeper I sink because it kicks off a line of thinking that creates that vicious cycle of thoughts/anxiety/depression.
Smith details how the inner monologue of an overthinker takes on two forms: ruminating and worrying, both of which I am guilty of. Can anyone think of a quote I might have mentioned about ruminating and worrying in this blog? Don't worry if you don't, here it is:
"If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present." (unknown)
I will break the above three sentences into the three underlined words and explain how Gwendoline Smith approaches them.
Depressed
Rumination is a significant part of depression and anxiety. For the purpose of this blog, I'll link it to depression because Smith defines it as "rehashing the past", which then leads to feelings of guilt and regret. In her article, Rumination: A Problem in Anxiety and Depression, Margaret Wehrenberg (Psy.D.) writes that:
"When people are depressed, the themes of rumination are typically about being inadequate or worthless. The repetition and the feelings of inadequacy raise anxiety, and anxiety interferes with solving the problem. Then depression deepens."
And that vicious cycle kicks in again.
Anxious
Worrying, which Gwendoline Smith defines as "consistently making negative, catastrophic predictions about the future", causes anxiety. The key word here, of course, is "future", and Smith maintains that in a downward spiral of overthinking (especially negatively), we begin to imagine future problems that have no basis in reality. She writes:
"In these situations, upon experiencing the emotion of fear, the physical bodily sensations caused by adrenaline result in us predicting real danger - even though this 'fear' is self-created (imagined) and not based on any factual evidence of a life-threatening circumstance."
This is me at 2 a.m., lying in my darkened bedroom, thinking dark thoughts about scenarios that, to date (touch wood), have never come to fruition. I cannot cite a single time when worrying about something manifested in an event. Not one. So, how do I stop these late-night (and sometimes all hours of the day) habits of overthinking? How do I teach my mind and body to differentiate between a legitimate fight or flight response and simple, negative catastrophising? The Book of Overthinking offers insight.
"... you have to learn to reduce your own anxiety. Relying on other people will only provide you with short-term relief."
Present
If you're not ruminating on the past or worrying about the future, you are being present (or mindful). In Chapter Five of her book, Gwendoline Smith launches into What To Do About Overthinking: The Therapeutic Model, and it is all about cognitive behavioural theory (CBT)
You may recall in my post Before we get to the root of the problem, let's talk a little about depression and mindfulness, I referred to the following quote from Psychology Today that referred to mindfulness as:
"...a modified form of cognitive therapy that incorporates mindfulness practices that include present moment awareness, meditation, and breathing exercises."

Smith (rightfully) insists that CBT is not simply thinking positively, so my approach is to couple CBT with books focusing on mindfulness. CBT is a constructive way to approach one's thoughts and behaviours. By Chapter Six, Starting The Therapy, the author, in true psychologist fashion, offers practicable, guided advice on how to break the habit of overthinking. Ergo, because I overthink, the book shows me how to break the habit of being myself or parts of myself (Dr Dispenza will approve). Smith writes that:
"...your responses are a reflection of, and are created by, your thinking. Hence, to change how you are feeling you need to change how you are thinking."
The Book Of Overthinking transforms into a printed therapy session that offers workable methods for altering thoughts. The methodology makes sense from an intellectual, logical, and practical point of view, and I found myself nodding along with the text in agreement throughout. However, controlling one's thoughts/mind is no easy feat and is certainly not an Atomic Habit (it's whatever the opposite of atomic is - gigantic, astronomic, colossal?). This said overthinking will not form part of the habits I will adopt before the 22nd of December. To adequately tackle overthinking, I'll need fearless reinforcements and considerably more time. Thankfully, The Book Of Overthinking introduced me to two new books that will make worthy accompaniments. I'll work through both before the end of the year and look forward to it.
Coming Up Next
Given the focus on being present in this post, I think it's time for me to work through Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now again. In my opinion, the book is the quintessential text on mindfulness and is a good segue from The Book Of Overthinking. Tolle's book is well worth a second read. Please click back next week for my thoughts on The Power of Now.
FOOTNOTE: Atomic Habit 3

I am an obsessive social media user. Thankfully, I don't doom scroll, but I pick my poison, and as we all know, aside from the band, there is no good poison. Very often, with anxiety comes disrupted sleep patterns, and these disruptions don't need any help. Over the years, I have taken to lying in bed (morning and night) and scrolling through social media. This is in addition to a fair amount of use during the day. There are myriad articles available on the internet about how detrimental this is to one's physical and mental health, and for longer than I care to admit, I have known that it is something I need to stop. The more common pitfalls of excessive social media use can lead to FOMO (fear of missing out) and comparison, which we all know is the thief of joy. Add to that the constant assault on your brain and reduced use seems like a no-brainer.
From a personal perspective, though, in How to Overcome Social Media Addiction, the CTRI (Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute) likens social media addiction to that of alcohol and drugs, highlighting that the activity becomes particularly problematic when used as a coping mechanism for stress, depression and loneliness. I want better coping mechanisms, so concurrent with intermittent fasting last week, I stopped using my phone in bed. It is placed on charge where I can't reach it. I am relentless about this habit and have already seen improved sleep patterns in the past fourteen days. Aside from one anxiety-riddled night this past week, I slept like a baby. My use of social media is considerable, so I will break this habit in increments. All the same, my platforms of choice are incredibly helpful tools, especially as I work through this blog and link it to my own SM accounts. For overall health reasons, however, it is best used in moderation.
The article What is Fight or Flight? from the website Mindful Minutes offers insight into the fight-or-flight response while touching on how mindfulness and meditation can help us cope with stress.
The Book of Overthinking is available to purchase at the link below.
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