Fear Mode vs Love Mode
- devabritow
- Aug 24
- 5 min read
This past week, I had every intention of picking a subject from Jim Kwik's Limitless (the expanded edition). His book is divided into chapters like "Energy", "Small Simple Steps" and "Flow", and I was keen to get stuck into the book. However, Limitless will have to wait another week or two because I listened to a podcast on Thursday and just had to write about it.
Over the last few months, I have taken a lot of inspiration (and life lessons) from The Mel Robbins Podcast. Whether she's doing it solo or with a guest, there is so much value in the topics she brings to her studio. I have only covered one other podcast on my blog, and it was from her show too (Why You Feel Lost in Life: Dr Gabor Maté on Trauma and How to Heal). This week's podcast is just as good and serves as a precursor to two books that I'll be covering in the not-too-distant future.
I had seen several clips on social media relating to Dr James Doty and his talk with Mel Robbins. I listened to the clips, but it wasn't until Thursday that I heard it in its entirety. The context of his appearance on the show last week is bittersweet. Dr Doty passed away on the 16th of July, and Robbins paid tribute to him by rerunning his episode of her podcast. I'm glad she did because if she hadn't, it might have taken me a little longer to learn about Dr Doty and his work. After listening to the podcast titled #1 Neurosurgeon: How To Manifest Anything You Want & Unlock the Unlimited Power of Your Mind, I did some research and bought both his books: Into The Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon's Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart and Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything. Somewhere along the research line, I also happened upon Franz Kafka's The Trial, which I understand is (in part) about existential anxiety. Who knows, perhaps I'll cover my first work of fiction with Kafka's book.
Dr Doty was a renowned American neurosurgeon, researcher, author, and philanthropist. He made a significant impact in the fields of medicine and the science of compassion. Before reading up on him, I had no idea that compassion scientists existed, but they do, and it's fascinating to me.
A compassion scientist is a researcher from various disciplines, such as psychology, neuroscience, and sociology, who examines, quantifies, and fosters compassion as a biological, psychological, and social phenomenon. Their research aims to comprehend the intricate nature of compassion, its mechanisms in the brain and body, and its beneficial impacts on personal well-being, relationships, and social systems, with practical uses in healthcare, education, and community development. Wow!
From Fear to Love
Dr Doty has an interesting background, some of which I'll write about when I cover his first book, Into the Magic Shop. But for now, I wanted to touch on a key topic covered in his conversation on The Mel Robbins Podcast: Manifestation
"The ability to manifest is fundamentally based in neuroscience. There is no woowoo, there's no magic, there's no law of attraction. What people don't appreciate is you can't wait for somebody to magically take care of everything. The reality is you have the power within yourself to change your circumstance." (Dr James Doty on The Mel Robbins Podcast)
I wrote about manifestation as recently as last week's post, Emotional Shifters. I'm averse to the idea that one can visualise something into existence, particularly material things. That said, I appreciated Dr Doty's take on manifestation. He is clear when he says that trying to manifest material things will not make us happy:
"But society is oriented unfortunately, towards seeking external affirmation with a belief that if you fulfill the societal narrative of success, which is money, power, position that will then translate into happiness. And of course, this is a story that's been told over and over and over again, and it does not. And I'm sure you know many, many extraordinarily successful people who are absolutely miserable."
I've written about my pursuit of peace—respite from the shackles of rumination and catastrophising. I've also written about finding a sense of purpose. These are the things I'd like to manifest. Like many of the authors I have covered over the last eleven months and three weeks, Dr Doty speaks about the fight or flight mode, the survival instinct we all have, but a place we're not meant to stay in. Modern society is faced with more stress than ever before. We're living in a society where the pursuit of 'more' is applauded, and it has created what Dr Doty refers to as "a narrative of unhappiness and (it's) a narrative of fear". This is where I often find myself - cowered in a corner, overcome with fear, and dread for the future. It is an affliction that I'd like to rid myself of. The author says that we need to shift from our sympathetic nervous system to our parasympathetic nervous system. If the sympathetic nervous system is associated with fear, the parasympathetic nervous system is synonymous with love. The latter is the only place in which we can create, and Dr Doty refers to it as "the love mode".
When the Student is ready, the Teacher Appears.
When I'm feeling fearful - a word I associate with anxiety- it's all I can think about sometimes. It's hard to drag myself out of that place of fear, dread and anxiety. During those moments, my sympathetic nervous system screams louder than ever, and it's all I can hear. But, every so often, my parasympathetic nervous system pipes up, wanting to be heard. This is the voice I need to pay more attention to. What Dr Doty writes and talks about is not unique to him - we've read it before (most notably in The Power of Now and Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself). Staying present and consciously creating new neural pathways can lead to a more peaceful state of mind, and since we spend so much time living in our heads, this equates to a more peaceful overall existence.
In his talk with Mel Robbins, Dr Doty touches on not only manifestation but the practice's effect on the brain, its power and the importance of gratitude and authenticity. I was glad to listen to all of this because it was thought-provoking and incredibly inspiring. It also opened my mind to the possibility that manifestation is possible. Dr Doty's take on manifestation is my favourite to date, and I don't think the podcast even scraped the surface of his work in this area. To that end, I look forward to reading his books, and I can't wait to share my thoughts with you.
Coming Up Next Week
I would have loved to segue from this week's post into Dr Doty's first book, but it's on order and is only expected to arrive next month. I've had Wendy Suzuki and Billie Fitzpatrick's book Healthy Brain, Happy Life for a few months. Dr Suzuki is a neuroscientist, so I suppose it's a kind of a segue. See you next week.
#anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #youarenotalone #thereisnostigma #wellness #selfhelp #selfcare
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