La Verace Via
- devabritow
- Apr 13
- 6 min read
The true path. A way to salvation. Sign me up!
In a non-theological sense, Dictionary.com defines the word salvation (in part) as preservation or deliverance from harm, ruin, or loss. What I love about blogging and the works I have covered is that one book or podcast will invariably lead me to another book or podcast or, in this week's case, another poem. It's a wonderfully serendipitous snowball effect that I love for two reasons. Firstly, I know that I will never run out of content to write about, and secondly, the knowledge contained in the various sources will continue to build the armour I wrote about in That Funny Feeling. In addition, I have often mentioned the similarities in concepts across the different books and authors, which reinforces the strength in my belief that I can and will get answers - whether it is from a book, a podcast or a poem. Who knows, maybe one day I'll also throw a movie into the mix.
That said, in this week's post, I will reference two texts because Martha Beck's Finding Your Own North Star encouraged me to revisit Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy.
On the second page of her introduction, Martha Beck delightfully invokes the spirit of Dante Alighieri. She writes her opening paragraph as if Dante were one of her clients (Beck is a life coach if you're unfamiliar with her work). She calls him 'Dan' and writes that his troubles could be that of any of the hordes of people she has coached over the years.
In his most famous work, The Divine Comedy, Dante finds himself lost and on a quest to find his 'true path', or 'la verace via'. I find it funny that Dante would call the work The Divine Comedy because life can sometimes seem like a sick joke. If you have ever watched Taylor Hackford's The Devil's Advocate, Al Pacino's character, John Milton (who is, in fact, Satan incarnate), very colourfully expresses precisely what he thinks about God in what must be one of cinema's most vitriolic diatribes. I won't repeat it here, but if you want to read it, visit IMDB using this link.
Dante's Inferno
The Divine Comedy is a narrative poem written in three parts, with Dante's Inferno being the first (as an aside, "inferno" is the Italian word for hell). The poem opens with:
"Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita, mi ritrovai una selva oscura, ché la diritta via era smarrita" ("In the middle of our life's journey, I found myself in a dark forest, for the true path had been lost.")
The second and third parts of The Divine Comedy are 'Purgatorio' (Purgatory) and 'Paradiso' (Paradise).
Circa 1308, Dante had been searching, too, though his search for salvation was a religious quest. While the expression of his journey in The Divine Comedy is a lot more poetic than mine, I found myself drawing parallels with my self-help journey. For many people (millions if stats are to be believed), mental health struggles can seem like a living hell and/or purgatory, depending on where one is in one's journey. I have been in a metaphorical hell, and, much to my chagrin, I find myself dropping in for a visit every now and then. Thankfully, I appear to be frequenting purgatory more often, where the means to cleanse and purify myself rests in the fantastic books, poems and podcasts I have enjoyed reading (or listening to) throughout my life and (particularly) over the last seven months. The next stop is undoubtedly 'Paradiso', right?
Aside from a couple of hiccups, I have remained steadfast on this self-help journey and aim to reach paradise right here on Earth.
In my post, True North: A Fixed Point In A Spinning World, I wrote:
"Polaris, also known as the North Star, is one of our planet's more prominent stars. Positioned almost directly above Earth's northern axis, Polaris's somewhat fixed position has historically been used as a navigational aid, allowing travellers to find true north - an orienting point. Also culturally significant, the North Star symbolises an unwavering guide representing purpose, direction and stability. Thanks to this week's book, this symbolism has taken on new meaning for me."
I didn't know any of Martha Beck's books before I googled her after listening to the fantastic conversation on The Mel Robbins Podcast. Immediately after listening to her, I reached for my phone and bought four of her books, including Beyond Anxiety, which I covered in That Funny Feeling, and this week's book, Finding Your Own North Star. Given that I've worked through two of Beck's books in a relatively short space of time, I'll leave The Way of Integrity and The 4-Day Win for posts further down the track.
The title of her book makes its premise clear. Finding Your Own North Star is just that - finding your purpose, direction and stability in an environment made rocky by (in my case) anxiety and depression. Beck includes anecdotal stories from many of her clients who have sought her help for various challenging life situations. While reading through those personal experiences, I couldn't help but think of the word "horizonlessness", which I first heard about in another one of Mel Robbins' podcasts and referenced in the post, One Wild Precious Life: What on earth will I do with it?. The word had a significant impact on me:
"Citing the the journalist Kayana Mogadam, who first used the term, Dr. Nerurkar describes "horizonlessness" as feeling a lack of enthusiasm for the future and believing that one doesn't have much to look forward to. I was saddened that the word even existed. It's like the antithesis of the North Star I mentioned in last week's post, and I thought it was akin to being rudderless - heading nowhere. It made me look at my approach to life."
With Finding Your Own North Star, Martha Beck aims to help readers reconnect with their true purpose and live authentically. The author uses the metaphor of a North Star to characterise the authentic self—our inner voice and sense of purpose. This innate compass will lead us to a happier, more meaningful life.
The Disconnected Self
In Finding Your Own North Star, Martha Beck writes about "the disconnected self," two versions of every human being: the "essential self" and the "social self."
The "essential self" is the 'you' before social conditioning. It's your passionate, instinctive, and creative core. Conversely, the "social self" helps you fit into society, though often at the expense of what you truly want. It's the part of you that is shaped by external factors and expectations, such as your family, schooling, culture, etc. Somewhere along the journey of your life, Beck writes that there has been a "navigational breakdown" between these two disconnected selves, and the goal is to align your "social self" with your "essential self" so they work in tandem to help you achieve your goals and purpose. What struck me early in the book (Page 4, to be exact) was the following quote:
"If your feelings about life in general are fraught with discontent, anxiety, frustration, anger, boredom, numbness, or despair, your social and essential selves are not in sync. Life design is the process of reconnecting them."
I consider these self-help books the building blocks of the life I am trying to design. In worldly terms, they are my salvation - my path to paradise while I inhabit this physical body.
Finding Your Own North Star is, in part, a workbook that requires engagement from the reader, and I am currently working through the exercises presented by the author. Given her standing in the self-help and motivational arena, I am incredibly excited about where this book will take me. However, like Mel Robbins and most self-help gurus, Beck cautions that we have to put in the work. Chapter 7 ("Soul Shrapnel: Repairing Your Emotional Compass") includes a confronting test for "emotional wounds" Beck insists must be healed if we are to make any progress on our journey. It is a simple "yes" or "no" test divided into two columns, but the author writes that getting more than three from column 2 indicates an emotional wound. I used the word confronting because I scored 13. I've mentioned in two separate posts, most notably in True Maturation, that I haven't been able to link trauma to any specific event in my life. Nonetheless, Beck cites someone who came to see her with an unidentifiable event, who ended up revealing that her parents were judgemental of her weight when she was only five. This strikes me as the 'little t trauma' psychologists speak of, and my guess is that whatever emotional wound I have is likely one of those.
Before launching into how one goes about "Treating An Emotional Wound", Beck provides a simultaneously encouraging and cautionary word:
"Once it's been diagnosed, fixing the damage from emotional wounds is surprisingly simple. I said simple, not easy. The steps are pretty straight forward, but they're guaranteed to scare you, and they may be briefly but intensely painful."
I have about two-thirds of the book to go, and all I have to say is, bring it!
Coming Up Next Week
I'm taking a little break over Easter and the weekend after that, so I won't post anything until Sunday, 4 May. I hope you'll be back then.
#anxiety #depression #selfhelp #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #marthabeck #findingyourownnorthstar #selfcare #melrobbins #letthem #theletthemtheory
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