And Just Like That, It's...
- devabritow
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
"When my own tides are at low ebb, I stand beside the sea. Bright waves of truth I used to know come washing over me... Peace lands so gently on my shoulder, lifts me on its wings. My freed heart opens to the sea and every gift it brings." (Secrets of the Sea by Susan Noyes Anderson)
Renewal
Holidays, no matter how short, revitalise us. When these holidays are shared with loved ones, they also sustain us and remind us of what really matters. I had a two-week reminder of what matters to me, and it was absolute bliss.
We're a beach-loving family, and much of the festive season was spent in sun, sand and sea. All of this is like a salve for the spirit, and I already long for another application. I hope you did something that helped renew your spirit, too.
You can read the full version of Susan Noyes Anderson's beautiful poem, Secrets of the Sea, here.
To Resolve or Not To Resolve
New Year's resolutions were prominent in a couple of my earlier posts, most notably in What Actually Lit The Fire Under My Butt?. I wrote about the largely futile exercise (at least as far as I'm concerned), and from a mental health perspective (see excerpt below), I resolved to stop making New Year's resolutions. The irony of this is not lost on me.
This is what I wrote about my experiences with the whole concept of new beginnings at the onset of a new year:
"For the better part of my adult life, I have fallen victim to the typical ‘new year, new me’ fiasco and failed every time. Of course, with that failure comes self-loathing, which in turn leads to self-punishment (beratement in my case), which then fuels depression. There is now a name for it: New Year's Resolution Stress, which comes about when we place unrealistic pressure on ourselves to achieve goals before the year ends. This can be damaging to anyone's mental health and can undoubtedly exacerbate things for those already struggling. If you'd like to know more about New Year's Resolution Stress, the NYRS button at the bottom links to an interesting article by Rachael Dunkel called The Psychology Behind New Year's Resolutions Stress."
The perspective I have gained since I started this blog has been considerable, and as I began thinking about my first post for 2026, I considered New Year's resolutions once again, but this time alongside goals. Resolutions and goals are often used interchangeably. However, they differ in structure, purpose, and framework. Where resolutions are value-based or intention-driven, goals are purpose-driven and very specific. Resolutions can lack solid steps and timeframes, whereas goals are action-oriented and include steps and measures of success.
"People with goals succeed because they know where they're going." (Earl Nightingale)
The Compass & The Map
So, in a nutshell, resolutions are something you declare, and goals are something you work toward. The compass and the map. I think when used in tandem, resolutions and goals can get you where you want to be. On my self-help journey, this knowledge holds incredible value for me, and I suppose that, if I have made any resolutions, they are to continue setting better, measurable goals grounded in solid habits, discipline, and an unshakeable resolve. The only thing is, they're not confined to the 1st of January - they're an ongoing work in progress.
Goodbye 2025
2025 already seems like a distant memory, but it certainly left some scars - some of which are deep but healing. The year also heralded change, some of which were clear and definite and others that indicate I may be on the precipice of something. The old me may have felt a degree of trepidation around change, but I am not afraid. I took Judith Espinosa's advice and opted not to "live life under a cloud of impending doom".
Despite 2025's scars, over the last five months (or so), I have felt a peace I haven't felt in longer than I can remember. It feels good... liberating... like I've left a leaden weight behind and picked up several important life lessons instead. Last year taught me that I have the capacity to overcome, to endure and to start again. I felt a shift in my approach, one that allowed for more balance and reading Michael A. Singer's The Untethered Soul helped reinforce that.
We have a choice. It may be hard to choose our thoughts, but we are free to observe them and let them go. It is when we cling to thoughts, particularly negative thoughts, that we suffer. 2025 came with a lot of negative thoughts. I acknowledge that. At the dawn of 2026, I chose to let those negative thoughts go.
"Control and Choice"
The remainder of this week's (short) blog post will focus on a single brief text. I hope it inspires you as it has inspired me.
I picked up Ryan Holiday's The Daily Stoic again. As you may know, the book is organised into 366 concise daily readings, each featuring a Stoic quote, historical background, and a practical reflection for contemporary life. Written in collaboration with Stephen Hanselman, the book is a yearlong guide to living with clarity, resilience, and virtue, inspired by the teachings of ancient Stoic philosophers, particularly Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca.
Its core idea is that we don't control what happens to us, but we do control how we respond. The entry for January 1st is titled "Control and Choice", and it features the following quote from Epictetus in Discourses, 2.5.4-5:
"The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and whicy have to do with choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to that choices that are my own..."
Epictetus suggests that the fundamental task in life is to differentiate between what you can control and what you cannot. Good and evil stem not from external events, outcomes, or others, but from your own decisions, judgments, and actions. By detaching your wellbeing from factors beyond your control and focusing instead on your choices and behaviour, you achieve clarity, responsibility, and inner freedom.
Sounds easy enough, right? Of course it doesn't. It's hard. But who was it that said, "Anything worth having is worth fighting for."?
This practice of observing one's thoughts and relinquishing control is the essence of mindfulness: being fully present with what is, focused on one's purpose, and free of judgment. Mindfulness is about awareness, not control. It's about creating a gap between stimulus and response and reacting with clarity, not habit. My self-help journey is about achieving this. With this deep desire and a mountain of literature, I have both the compass and the map. Through these blog posts, I am getting closer and closer to the goal I have resolved to set.
Have a wonderful 2026, and I hope you'll continue to walk this journey with me.
Quote of the Week
"Every time we ponder a thought, act on an impulse, or dwell on a desire, we are setting in motion a cause that will have a future effect. Mindfulness enables us to choose wisely." (Tamara Levitt)
#anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #youarenotalone #thereisnostigma #mindfullness #awareness #wellness #selfcare
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